Working too hard?

For the last few days, nothing really seems to have been going right for me.

After a long hard think (they really do exist!) I think I’ve worked out why. I think that I try to make everything I do into a chore.

Obviously revision and all that comes with it has to be done and is therefore fairly close to a chore. I also play the trumpet and am doing my Grade 8 exam on Friday. What used to be a cheery revision break has turned into something just as stressful, or perhaps even more so. I’ve been giving myself breaks, but I seem to think it’s absolutely necessary that I achieve something else in them. I’ve been making my boyfriend a scrapbook for our anniversary (which is today, happy anniversary to us!) and it started off very fun indeed but by the end became a bit of a slog to finish in time.

I have a reading list (and feel the need to make myself read a designated number of pages a day, otherwise I’m some sort of a failure), a film list, a TV shows list and even a music list and for some reason won’t let myself read/watch/listen to what I’m in the mood for and instead have to follow the plan to the letter.

I’m been informed by my boyfriend that I even make skyping him into a chore, not just for myself but for him too.

Why do I do this? Why can’t I just let myself ‘go with the flow’?

I’ve always been that sort of person I think, always pushing myself to my limits. I think now I’ve realised that sometimes enough is enough.